This is a repost of an article from BKKNites. It was intended to be a one-off, but it has sparked a whole series. Parts 2 through 6 to follow…
Ploy is easily my favorite. She’s a tiny thing, 80 pounds soaking wet, with porcelain skin, big fake tits, and a full-color tattoo of a female Japanese samurai that covers her entire back. I met her when she was 18, dancing outside Dollhouse on Soi Cowboy. One of my drinking buddies tried his damnedest to get her back to his room, but she said she didn’t go with customers and only worked as a tease to lure in the tourists. Flash forward one year and she was dancing fulltime at Electric Blue in Patpong. I started going in to see her regularly and soon she was coming round to my place once a week or so. Things carried on this way for the next 6 years. We became good friends, and even better friends-with-benefits.
She never came over empty-handed. Ploy always brought me food, or a little knick-knack for my apartment. Sometimes she’d cook for me. I took her to dinner a few times, and we even talked about taking a trip to Koh Samet. She was the closest I’ve come to a relationship since abandoning them when I abandoned America.
Ploy has a sweet, beautiful soul. She is lovely in every possible way, and might well be kindest person I’ve ever met. At one time I even entertained the thought of making her my monogamous girlfriend, but then had to admit it wouldn’t work, as it would be impossible for me to be faithful. But if I had just committed, maybe she’d still be around. A few months ago, she dropped off the radar. She texted once to say her grandma was sick and she was relocating to Isaan to care for her, but that turned out to be a lie. In fact, she’d been knocked up. For a long time, I thought the kid might be mine. But then she posted a photo of herself and a skinny Thai dude on her Facebook page, and announced that he was the father. Now they’re living together in some rural town north of Bangkok. She messaged recently to say she missed me, and hoped to be back soon to visit. She regularly posts photos of her baby, who looks more and more like me by the day.
I miss her like crazy.
Kay got pregnant at 14, was working in the bar by 16, on the pole by 17, and pregnant again before her 18th birthday. After she pops out kid number two, she’ll be back in Patpong, only this time she won’t have to dodge the cops for being underage. Kay has dyed red hair, a penchant for green contact lenses, and a chest tattoo of an owl that will never be fully filled-in because she says it hurts too much. She cleans my apartment once a month, and I have to walk her to and from the elevator because she’s convinced my building has ghosts. After knocking her up, her boyfriend left her for a dancer at Black Pagoda, who coincidentally is a an acquaintance of mine. It makes for awkward encounters in the gogo.
We met when she was dancing illegally in King’s 2. I would buy her a Coke every time I saw her, because I felt sorry for her. She couldn’t make much money because she wouldn’t barfine or go with customers on account of her age. She never seemed fussed about it. I think she was just glad to be working and to get out of the house. Her mom looked after her baby while she was on the pole, and that seemed to be an OK situation. But once the Junta began cracking down on underage gogo dancers, she switched to spending 99% of her time at home. The days she cleans my apartment might be the only time she even sees daylight. These days she complains that she’s getting old and fat, neither of which is true. I tell her so, but she doesn’t believe me. Someday I might entertain banging her, but for now it’s strictly a house-cleaning relationship. Sometimes she offers to give me a bj for extra cash. I’ve resisted the temptation thus far.
Oil’s another of my harem that hails from Electric Blue. She has a smile that lights up the room, and an incredibly fit body. Also very brown skin, which Thais hate but foreigners love. Also a massive gorgeous back tattoo in the Yakuza style that is so popular in Thailand right now. Of her own volition, she came up and sat with me her first night on the job, and we’ve been chummy ever since. That was 5 years ago. Now, like so many former EB girls in this down economy, she flits back and forth between BKK and Pattaya, trying to match what she used to make when business was booming. She still manages to come over once a week, and she’s dynamite in the sack, so I’ll never turn her away. She’s become such a regular that her boyfriend even drives her over to my place to bang. I guess he’s cool with it as long as she’s bringing home the bacon.
Another Electric Blue veteran, Bum has been a regular fixture in my room for 4 years. She’s so easy and accommodating that I can’t bear to get rid of her. Bum is taller and slimmer than most Thai girls, with long gorgeous legs, big natural tits, and—of course—a huge back tattoo. An unusual thing about Bum is, she likes to kiss. Most Thais prefer to smell you—that works as a substitute for kissing in Thailand. But Bum’s a kisser. She likes kissing even more than I do. She’s also overly-affectionate in the gogo, putting her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder. And she doesn’t mind if I film our bedroom antics, which is a huge plus. She bones me exclusively as well, which is a rare thing in the red-light. She’s not greedy, so she’s content to bang only me on a biweekly basis to cover rent and other expenses. This is doubly-beneficial. One, because I don’t have to worry about disease, and two because her vajay is always tight. Smiles all around.
May was one of my first. Also from Electric Blue, the moment I saw her dance I was hooked. She moved like no one I’ve ever seen. There’s a video of her dancing somewhere on my YouTube or Twitter. I could barely walk out of the gogo after seeing her on the pole. Shortly after, I was banging her once a week. She was just as crazy in bed as she was on a Patpong stage. Tiny thing, mostly muscle and bones—a breathtaking sight in the colored lights of the gogo. Recently another of her customers sprang for fake tits, so now she’s off the hotness Richter scale. She’s also off the red-light, thanks to the same customer’s monthly sponsorship. It hasn’t stopped her from hitting me up for cash every so often. I can’t be certain but I think she’s trying to fund a persistent yaba addition.
All of these girls, despite what they do for a living and how many times they’ve gone to bed with strangers, are at the core of their being so purely innocent, kind, wide-eyed, lovely, and sweet that it’s virtually impossible not to fall in love with all of them—which I am, of course. It’s why I’ll never date a Western woman again, and why no one in their right mind should. If you live in a place where the women are entitled, self-righteous bitches, or #Metoo fiends, or think they deserve special treatment simply because they have a vagina……find a way to relocate to Thailand. It’s the opposite situation here. Women are wonderful here. You don’t have to put up with horrid cunts in your home country. Figure out a way to get to The Land of Smiles. You’ll be happy for the rest of your days.”
Tune in next Friday for Part 2, or if you can’t wait you can probably find it on my Tumblr or at BKKNites. Also check back Sunday for Seven’s weekly. And until next time, keep your balls clean, your pint glass full, and cheers to all the lovely ladies in Bangkok and beyond who make life especially great, here in the greatest country in all the world: Thailand.