February 3, 2019 By bangkok7
Top of the morning to you gents, I’m Seven, and there are two things I’m good at: ogling gogo dancers and drinking while doing it. And seeing as how I’m a Patpong aficionado I thought I’d do you a favor and give you a rundown of the best booze on offer in the best bars. I’m not including regular bars in this blog because it’d take months to hit them all. These are just the gogos and popular restaurants where, coincidentally, I spend most of my idle time. I’ll do this in two parts. First, a list by alcohol types. The easy way would’ve been to simply paste each bar’s menu and be done with it, but instead Seven has taken great pains to list each category and list the locations so that you can decide ahead of time what to order in which place. Second, with some redundancy, a list of Seven’s drinks of choice in each joint. Let’s dive in…
Most places have a nice but ordinary array of vodkas with around three known labels plus a house brand.
Pink Panther: Smirnoff, Skyy, Svedka, Barton, and Absolut regular, vanilla, and raspberry
Black Pagoda: Grey Goose, Absolut, Belvedere
Glamour: Stoli, Absolut, Ketel One, Grey Goose
Bada Bing: Stoli, Absolut, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Crystal Head
The Strip: Grey Goose, Absolut
Thigh Bar: Absolut, Smirnoff
Shenanigan’s and The Paddy Field: Smirnoff, Absolut, and Grey Goose.
The best menu for vodka—and this’ll be true of pretty much every kind of alcohol in this blog and on the Pong—is The Steakhouse Co. They’ve got the above mentioned brands plus Finlandia, Michael Adams, Beluga, JJ Whitney, Ghost, and Fashion.
Now, if you’re a cheap bastard like me or simply don’t have a palate for good vodka, the house brand will do. It’s cheap. In fact, I’m not sure the bars even buy it. I think it just leaks out of the air con units up and down the soi. The flavor isn’t what I’d call “good” but you can get used to it.
Your gin choices are similar to your vodka choices in that most places have a top 3 (Gordon’s Bombay, Tanqueray) plus a house brand.
Pink Panther and Black Pagoda: Gordon’s, Bombay, Tanqueray
Glamour: Gordon’s, Bombay, Hendrick’s
Bada Bing: Gordon’s, Tanqueray, Bombay, Hendrick’s
The Strip: Tanqueray, Bombay
Thigh Bar: Bombay, Gordon, house
Shenanigan’s and Paddy Field: Tanqueray, Hendrick’s, Gordon’s, Bombay
The Steakhouse Co. wins again, though. Here’s their list: The above mentioned brands plus Nordes Atlantic, Bulldog, Whitley Dry, Whitley Quince, JJ Whitney Elderflower, Gin Mare, 4 Pilars, Roku, and Botanist.
If you’ve been in Thailand longer than five minutes, you know that Thai tequila isn’t real tequila. It’s moonshine with artificial tequila flavoring. But a few joints in Patpong serve up the real deal. Glamour and The Strip have Patron Silver. Shenanigan’s serves Cuervo Silver and Gold. Bada Bing’s got Don Julio and Olmega Gold.
The Steakhouse Co. has the best selection: 1800 Silver, 1800 Reposado, Patron Silver and Gold, Patron XO, Don Julio, Pepe Lopez Gold and Silver.
Thailand’s national liquor of choice is rum—or at least, the Thai version of rum. So Sangsom is available pretty much everywhere.
Pink Panther: generic
Black Pagoda: Havana 7, Bacardi, and Captain’s
Glamour: Captain’s, Bacardi, Havana Gold, and Mount Gay
Bada Bing: Captain’s, Bacardi, Havana Gold, and Appleton Reserve
The Strip: Captain’s and Bacardi
Thigh Bar: Bacardi, Chanong Bay
Shenanigan’s: Bacardi, Captain Morgan’s Bundaberg, Malibu
Paddy Field: Bacardi, Havana Club, and Captain’s.
The Steakhouse Co. offers Captain’s (spiced and dark), Mount Gay, Diplomatico, Sixty-Six 6 Years, Bacardi, Pyrat XO, and Havana Club 3.
Like rum, Thailand has its own version of whiskey. Their pride and joy is Hong Tong, but it ain’t served in most of the gogo’s and restaurants of Patpong.
Pink Panther: Red and Black Label, J&B, Chivas, Jack Daniels
Black Pagoda: Black Label, Jack Daniels, Chivas
Glamour: Suntory, Red and Black Labels, J&B, Jameson, Chivas, Monkey Shoulder, Glenmorangie, and Gold Reserve
Bada Bing: Suntory, J&B, Jameson, Chivas, Black Label, and Yamazakii 12 Years
The Strip: Red and Black Label, Jack Daniels, Chivas
Thigh Bar: Chivas, Red and Black Label, Jack Daniels, 100 Pipers
Kiss Bar: Red and Black Label, J&B, Chivas, Jack Daniels, Jameson, Maekhong
Kings 1: Black Label, Chivas, Jack Daniels
Shenanigan’s: Jameson, Tullamore, Bushmills, Chivas, Red and Black Label, Jack Daniels, Canadian Club, Maker’s Mark, J&B, Dewars, Glemorangie, Glenfiddich, Ballantine, MacAllan, Laphroaig, Singleton, Famous Grouse
The Paddy Field: Red and Black Label, Chivas, Jack Daniels, Jameson, Bushmills
The Steakhouse Co: Glenlivet 1 Foundation Reserve, Red and Black Label, Ballantines, Jameson, Pogues, Monkey Shoulder, Chivas, Chivas 21, Bushmills, J&B, Canada Club, Mars Iwai, Suntory, Hibiki
Single Malts at The Steakhouse: Glenfiddich 12, Macallan 12 and 15, Glenlivet 12 and 13, Glenfarclas 15 and 18, Glenmorangie Quinta Ruba 12, Glenmorangie 18, Dalmore 12, Laproag 10, Ardbeg 10, Aberlour 12, Kavalan Sherry (Cask) and Bourbon (Oak), Port Charlotte, Craigellachie 13, Yamazaki
Kiss Bar: Jim Beam
Glamour: Jim Beam, Woodford Reserve
Bada Bing: Jim Beam, Jack Honey
Pink Panther: Jim Beam
Kings 1: Jim Beam
Shenanigan’s and Paddy Field: Jim Beam
The Steakhouse Co: Wild Turkey, Jim Beam, Evan Williams Black, Buffalo Trace, Maker’s Mark, Bulleit, Bulleit Rye, Kentucky Jack, Woodford Reserve
Bada Bing: Remy Martin
Kiss Bar: Remy Martin
Kings 1: Remy Martin
Shenanigan’s: Hennessey, Remy Martin
The Steakhouse Co: Hennesy, Remy Martin Martell VSOP, Martell XO, Camus, Ysabel Regina, Calvados
Pink Panther: Leo, Chang, Tiger, Tiger Light, San Miguel, SML, Asahi, Heineken, Corona
Black Pagoda: Singha draft, Tiger, Chang, SML, Asahi, Heineken, Corona
Glamour: Leo, Chang, Singha, Tiger, SML, Asahi, Heineken, Beer Lao regular and Dark
Bada Bing: Leo, Chang, Tiger, SML, Asahi, Heineken, Hoegaarden
The Strip: Leo, Chang, Tiger Light, SML, Singha, Heineken, Corona
Thigh Bar: This list is always changing, but at the moment its Leo, Chang, Tiger, Singha, SML, Phuket, Heineken, Federbrau, Caulier, Kwak, Tripel Larmeleit, La Corne, Kasteel, Cuvee des Trolls, Limburgse Witte and Rose, Beer Lao, Kirin, Asahi, Corona Budweiser, and Paulaner or Weihenstephaner Weiss
Kiss Bar: Leo, Chang, Singha, Carlsberg, Tiger, SML, Heineken, Corona, Kwak, Tripel Karmeleit, Limburgse Witte, Caulier 28 ale and IPA
Kings 1 and 2: Leo, Chang, Singha, Tiger, Tiger Light, SML, Heineken, Corona
Shenanigan’s: On tap—Tiger, Heineken, Beck’s, Guinness, Punk IPA, Big Wave Lager, Kilkenny, Hoegaarden, Budweiser. Bottles—Leo, Chang, Singha, SML, Tiger, Tiger Light, Heineken, Beer Lao regular and Dark, Corona, Asahi
The Paddy Field: On tap—Guinness, Fresh Squeezed IPA, Heineken, Tiger. Bottles—Leo, Chang, Singha, Tiger, Tiger Light, SML, Asahi, Heineken, Beer Lao Dark, Corona
The Steakhouse Co: Draft—Singha, Tiger, Chang, Vedett IPA. Bottles—Heineken, Singha, SML, Budweiser, Sapporo, Peroni, Hoegaarden, Stella, Leffe Blond and Brown, Franziskaner Blond and Dark, Old Fred, Fresh Squeezed IPA, Black Butte Porter, Mirror Pond Pale Ale, Tank 7, Donator, Eleventh Fort IPA and Black IPA, Stone Brewing IPA and Pale Ale, Anderson Valley Cream Ale and Heelch O Hops, Duvel, Vedett Extra IPA, Little Creatures Pale Ale and Dog Days, Erdinger Dark, Warsteiner, Kostritzer Schwatzbier, Hobf White, Paulaner Weibbier andSalvator and Munchner Hell, La Chouffe, Mc Chouffe, Fuller’s London, Weihenstephaner
The Strip now serves Prosecco and Champagne by the bottle. Bada Bing’s got Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Riesling, Prosecco, Brut, Rose, Barbera, Cotes du Rhone, and Haut Medoc.
Shenanigan’s has red and white on tap plus Shiraz, Merlot, Cabernet, Chardonnay, and Sauvignon Blanc, all from the One Tree label. Also Champagne: Moet and Dom Perignon
The Paddy Field: The same list of One Tree wines plus Prosecco and house red and white.
The Steakhouse Co: By the bottle—this is a list of 30 red and 8 white ridiculously awesome wines. I won’t print it here. Consult their website for them. What I will list are wines by the glass. Reds: house red, Cassanova Cab, Vigneti del Salento Primitivo, Catena Zapata Malbec, Domaine L’Ostal Syrah. Whites: house white, Maison de G Chenin Blanc, Stonefish Chardonnay, Prosecco (this changes from time to time. Right now they’re pouring Pitars Cuvee)
Champagnes at The Steakhouse: Moet, Mumm, Roederer, Roederer Rose, Roederer Cristal, Dom
Dessert wines at The Steakhouse: Sileni Estate Semillon, Spinetta Moscato d’Asti.
The Steakhouse Co. also serves three kinds of sake: Fukuju, Dewazakura, Nanbubijin
Port at The Steakhouse: Taylors Tawny, Porto Messias 10 Years, Osborne 10 Years, Osborne 20 Years
French Kiss and Le Bouchon have great wine lists, but I never go there so I’m not up to speed on what they serve.
Shenanigan’s serves Magner’s plus Kopparberg on tap and Magner’s by the bottle
The Paddy Field: Magner’s by the bottle
The Steakhouse Co: Black Rat, Thatcher’s Gold, Kepplers, Moose
Odds ‘n Ends
Pretty much everybody serves froo froo drinks like Smirnoff Ice and Bacardi Breezers, and most places’ll mix you up a cocktail if you want something sweet and effeminate. But they won’t be listed here.
Seven’s drink of choice in each joint
You didn’t ask, but I’m gonna tell you what I routinely imbibe of in each bar. When I sit down, someone brings me my drink. They don’t need to ask, because I’m pathetically addicted to the gogo and I gogo every night. So here goes:
In Pink Panther, Bada Bing, The Strip, and Glamour I order vodka sodas, mostly because it’s a low-calorie drink and I hope that somehow it’s offsetting all the fattening beer I consume. House brand only because I’m not sophisticated enough to tell the difference.
In Kiss Bar and Thigh Bar, Limburgse Witte.
In Kings 1 and 2, San Miguel Light.
In Black Pagoda, Singha draft.
In Paddy Field, Tiger pint.
In Shenanigan’s, a Midnight in the Gaarden, which is half Hoegaarden, half Guinness.
In The Steakhouse Co, it depends. If I’m not eating or smoking, it’s usually Prosecco. If I have a cigar, it’s Primitivo and tawny port. If I’m eating meat, it’s the Malbec or Primitivo or both. If I’m having the carvery, I have a glass of red and a glass of white, because different dishes demand different wine pairings. If I order beer, it’s usually Old Fred.
Please note, this list doesn’t come close to covering all the bars in Patpong. It’s just the gogos and the restaurants frequented by Seven. If you want to know what they’re pouring in Safari, Crystal Castle, The Patpong Café, Crown Royal, Cosmos, De Talk, Kings Corner, Muzzik,Twilo, Superstar Bar, Topless Bar, Spanky, Vinai’s, VL Gallery, Horse Shoe, Dragon, or Madrid, you’ll have to check them out yourself. My alcoholism only stretches so far—that is to say, as far as I need to walk to see a pair of legs in short-shorts and stilettos.
So draw up your maps and mark the spots where they serve your favorites, and come enjoy the lascivious labyrinth that is Patpong, and here’s to another day with a glass in one hand and a girl in the other. Life is good in Thailand. Cheers bitches!