Oddendum: A Sevenisms Glossary

February 26, 2019 By bangkok7

Oddendum: A Sevenisms Glossary

Happy weekday everyone, it’s your man Seven, reporting from the heart of the gogo. For this month’s Oddendum, I have something particularly odd and overtly endum. Over the course of the past year, I’ve invented some words that as far as I know did not previously exist in the lexicon. Mainly out of laziness, I coined a handful of terms without which I couldn’t have expressed myself in the way that I meant to. I’ve temporarily named these “Sevenisms.” And just for shits and giggles (shiggles for short, copyright BKK7), I’ve accumulated them in a makeshift glossary for your reading distraction. Here they are in non-alphabetical order:

Flirtonversations (noun) Def: Flirtatious conversations. Eg: “One skill bar girls have honed to perfection, both for coaxing drinks and seducing to get barfined, is being adept at the art of flirtonversation.”

Bangkoksmopolitan (noun/adj) Def: A cosmopolitan Bangkok resident. Eg: “It’s one thing to be cosmopolitan and another to live in Bangkok. But it takes a special kind of party animal to be Bangkoksmopolitan.”

Confelebration (noun) Def: A confession that is also a celebration, because there are good and bad aspects of a thing. Eg: “My sins are really, really fun. So when I own up to them, it’s a kind of confelebration.”

Godi (noun) Def: gogo Jedi; someone who’s become a master in the ways of the gogo, the penultimate skill of which is using the Godi mind trick to convince gogo dancers to come over without a barfine. Eg: “In the days of the old republic, Godi master Seven once had a harem of 11 dancers.”

Addicreation (noun) Def: an addiction that is also recreation. Eg: “For adrenaline junkies, diving with sharks is a perfect addicreation. Seven’s is groping gogo dancers.”

Bragplaining (verb) Def: Bragging while explaining; variant of explanabragging (definition below). Eg: “The hippy backpacker was bragplaining loudly on the skytrain about her eat-pray-love experience at the full moon party.”

Crocodoil (noun) Def: crocodile oil; the key ingredient of the latest craze in men’s skin care products. Eg: “Mehn luxury soap helps reverse the aging process thanks to its key ingredient—crocodoil.”

Ridiculificant (adj) Def: ridiculously insignificant; something so insignificant that talking about it borders on farce. Eg: “The blogger—who’s been in Bangkok for just a few months—presumed to lecture his readers about the cost of living there. His opinion wasn’t just uninformed. It was ridiculificant.”

Weekliloquy (noun) Def: weekly soliloquy, especially when referring to online columns that no one reads. Eg: “In his most recent weekliloquy, Bangkok Seven waxed moronic about his favorite bar girl trysts.”

Pathoignancy (adj) Def: pathetic poignancy; something that is both worthy of embarrassment and regrettable, which contrary to popular belief are not always concurrent. Eg: “Following the bar girl down the soi begging her to come back to the short-time hotel while shot-gunning Kamagra was a moment of pathoignancy for Darrel.”

Groiming (verb) Def: grooming ones groin. Eg: “Before going whoremongering each night, Glen spent a lot of time groiming so his balls would be baby-smooth.”

Explession (noun) Def: a simultaneous explanation and confession. Eg: “Seven’s explession about how he managed to burn 80,000 baht on bar girls last month was both hilarious and heartbreaking.”

Cramazing (adj.) Def: crazy-amazing; something that’s crazy and also amazing. Eg: “The bacon-foie gras-truffle-mushroom-triple cheeseburger that Seven somehow got the chef at The Steakhouse Co. to make for him was utterly cramazing.”

Microcarcissism (noun) Def: microcosm of narcissism; when someone lives within the tiny confines of their own narrow, low IQ world view. Eg: “After a lifetime of dumbed-down education and an upbringing by  self-centered, stupid parents, Chet became trapped within his own microcarcissism of intersectional progressive social justice hogwash.”

Irocrisy (noun) Def: ironic hypocrisy; when someone’s hypocrisy is ironic at the same time. Eg: “The irocrisy of her cheating accusation was that she made it while calling from her kik’s mobile phone.”

Occupocrisy (noun) Def: occupational hypocrisy, as in when a bar girl gets mad at you for having more than one girl. Eg: “The fact that my bargirl gets jealous if I talk to her friend, even though she bangs various other customers weekly, is pure occupocrisy” or “Celebrating Valentine’s Day in the red light district is a bit of an occupocrisy.”

Eclection (noun) Def: eclectic collection; a menagerie of unusual or unique things. Eg: “Over the years I’ve acquired quite an eclection of gogo dancers’ hair bands.”

Foodsperience (noun) Def: food-related experience. Eg: “The Bangkok burger truck is a must-try foodsperience for anyone visiting from out of town.”

Oddendum (noun) Def: odd addendum; specifically, any blog or topic that doesn’t naturally fit in either of Patpongnightlife’s two weekly columns (Friday and Sunday). They usually post midweek.

Explanabrag (verb) Def: explaining while simultaneously bragging. Eg: “When Miw took 20 minutes to tell us where she’d been, which was galavanting on some rich customer’s yacht, we knew she was explanabragging.”

 

Darwapitalism (noun) Def: The notion that in the free market, only the fittest survive. Eg: “Facebook’s dominion over Myspace isn’t monopoly, it’s Darwapitalism.”

Shiggles (noun) Def: shits and giggles. Eg: “I didn’t think she was all that hot, but I had her over anyway, just for shiggles.”

 

Head back over on Friday for the Frowback and Sunday for the weekly, and between now and then keep your balls bare, your beers bubbly, and cheers to us still breathing the mostly healthy air in the greatest country in the world: Thailand.