TS Eliot said, “April is the cruelest month,” and while Bangkok is in no way a waste land, I can’t help thinking the poet must’ve been to Thailand for Songkran at least once in his life. So far this year (2019), April has been a brutal beat-down of scorching temperatures into which three days of water fights barely put a dent. For those stuck in the city, there are only two choices: hunker down in a place with air-con and wait out the wave, or distract oneself with cold beer and eye candy. To that end, here’s my mid-week attempt to take your mind off your seething, melting testicles with this comprehensive review of some of the best chests in Patpong. Here’s a list of who has boobs:
This is chick works at Thigh Bar. She’s sweet, uninhibited, and can really shake her booty. Everything about her is lovely, not just her boobs. Her smile could light a fire in your loins, if not your heart, with dimples that’d drive any man crazy. You can see more pics of her on my FB page (Bangkok Seven) and also Thigh Bar’s Twitter @bar_thigh
These two lovelies are former Bada Bing girls who have since moved over to Glamour. Blondie—who throws off a vibe like sex on wheels—has only been onPong for a few months, while mystery girl number 2 is a pro from way back. Still rockin’ that hardbody, though, and her onstage moves will cause butterflies in your stomach.
This brick house currently works at Bada Bing…at least until it closes for a remodel. Then she’ll likely migrate over to Radio City. She’s new to Patpong, prefers dancing in lace g-string panties and bra, and has an attitude to match. Be careful with this one—she’s a live wire. She suckers me out of loose hundred baht bills nightly.
This gal told me her name four years ago but I’ve since forgotten it. My friends and I just call her Cat Girl because she used to wear fluffy cat ears on stage. She’s since ditched the ears and instead sports these giant silicone wonders. I wanna smack em around like how a kitty plays with balls of yarn. You can tell by the fiendish glint in her eyes that she’s trouble, and if you’re not convinced, check out her Yakuza-style back tattoo.
The Supergirl shirts were a staple of The Strip, where this sweet thang used to work. Since its closing last month, she’s moved to Black Pagoda, and most recently to the soon-to-close-but-when-no-one-knows Bada Bing. In the coming days she’ll either be back at Pagoda or over to Radio City. Her dirty pillows are all natural, by the way.
This tattooed breast currently shakes it at Glamour. She’s new, and a tad shy, but seemingly willing to try. When I asked her for a photo, she leaned down, not realizing she’d exposed a nipple. My chivalry got the best of me and I pulled up her bra, but as you can see from the pic, I wasn’t 100% successful.
These bad boys are on display most nights at King’s Castle 1. As you can see, “shy” isn’t in her vocabulary. But in case you’re unconvinced, when you’re there, look for the most risqué dancer with the least amount of clothes, bouncing on the lap of a shy Japanese tourist. That’ll be her.
Another former Strip girl. I think she’s over at Pagoda now. Natural tits. Great ass. Big beautiful smile. Awesome attitude. She has a habit of tiring of her shorts as the night rolls on, and ditching them in favor of just panties, which adds a bit of ‘special’ to the night.
Mina is a sight to behold. She’s the number one girl in Black Pagoda. You’ll know her by her signature g-string and gravity-defying ass. Sometimes instead of dancing, she’ll just stand off to the side and pose, ass out, for the customers to bask in its glow. Come Christmastime, I’d happily forego the yule log and simply stare at that caboose.
This cheeky monkey works at King’s 1. Her fake boobs are brand new and she’s too lazy to do the recommended daily massage to keep them soft, so for 100 baht she’ll let you do it. They’re my new favorite toy. I feel like a kid again, mushing those things around in my hands like Play-Doh.
These two PYTs are at Pink Panther. Full disclosure, I don’t remember taking the photos. They just turned up in my phone after a night of vodka-swilling.
This piece of eye candy also works at King’s 1. She pretends to be shy, but it’s just so the other girls don’t gossip about her. The more she protests your groping hands, the more fun she’s actually having. She also sports a big beautiful back tattoo. If you have her over to your place, don’t rely on her to find it herself. She’ll wander around your block like a baby deer lost in the woods.
Just FYI, this is only a sample of the ample sets on display in the pong. The tits I couldn’t photograph far outnumber the ones featured here. And I’d be irresponsible if I didn’t also pay respect to some of the magnificent chests that used to adorn the Pong, but are now off the pole and back home in the countryside:
Kukkiik, aka Razorhips. Formerly of The Strip. She got fake ones just in time to give in to her boyfriend’s pleading to leave the life. Now she just posts cute photos for her 20 thousand followers.
Bum used to dance at Electric Blue. She’s got a bun in the oven now, but her big natural funbags used to be one of her best features. I can’t imagine how big they’ll get now that she’s in the family way.
Mai was another veteran of The Strip. Gigantic fake ta-ta’s bolted to a tiny frame. Plus the requisite back tattoo. She had a great sense of humor and a penchant for pizza. I used to like to wear her bra on my head in the gogo.
Mew made her bold debut at Glamour but had to quit so she could stay home and watch her younger sister. She’s a goofball (as you can see) with gorgeous real knockers.
Momay used to light up the stage at Electric Blue. Then one of her customers bought her these ginormous beasts. Now she just sits home taking nude selfies, which she promptly sends to me.
Nuiy started out at Lust. Then when it closed, she moved to Bada Bing. Then she married one of her customers and moved to Singapore. Pretty sure he’s the one who purchased her tig-ole-bitties.
Neww danced at The Strip. She’s since relocated to Pattaya—Tantra, I think. She’s a fun gal, and not the least bit shy. Killer smile, too.
Ploy got knocked up and left the life, but not before doing a ‘Naked Ninja’ photo shoot over at my place. You can get an eyeful of some of my NN models over at my FB page (Bangkok Seven).
And that’s all she wrote for this oddendum. I hope it distracted you, if only momentarily, from the relentless heat. If not, you can hold out till sundown and they make your way to Patpong, to bury your face in one of the above sets of bazooms. Swing by tomorrow for a frowback, and cheers to all the beautiful boobs that keep life interesting in the greatest country in the world—Thailand.