xXx Lounge Patpong: A Seven Review

January 12, 2020 By bangkok7

xXx Lounge Patpong: A Seven Review

Hey there web-wanderer. I’m Bangkok Seven. Welcome to my page. Today I offer an in-depth look at Patpong’s newest gogo bar—The xXx Lounge, formerly The Steakhouse Co. and before that, Club Electric Blue. Be forewarned, however. This will not be an impartial review. I absolutely love the joint and go there almost daily. Just FYI. Let’s get to it…

The first thing you notice is the black and the blue. Black seats, black floor, black ceiling illuminated with blue light (and blacklights) creates an atmosphere of cool. Add the chrome and mirrors and you’ve got a vibe that rides the edge between cyber-punk and bdsm. The girls wouldn’t be out of place in black leather, but instead the uniforms swing the other way—soft, see-through lace, bikinis, and schoolgirl outfits. The girls in lace go commando, so if you sit stage-side, be ready for an eyeful of beaver.

Their dancer roster runs between 20 and 30 depending on the day. Most are Patpong vets from other venues or from the previous Club Electric Blue. There are some fresh faces as well, so it’s a nice mix. Speaking of, although the owner obviously prefers fitter girls, they’ve got a few curvy ones for the customers who lean that way (my brother being one). Seven prefers skinny girls, so when he’s in xXx Lounge, he’s like a pig in slop. Not to worry, that’s the only time I’ll refer to myself in the 3rd person. At the moment there are about 12 girls working at xXx that I consider to be eye candy. Which is a lot for a gogo bar these days. I’ve managed through perverted leering to catch the attention of half a dozen dancers who take turns pumping me for a drink each night. They’re very democratic about it, and never gang up on me, which I appreciate. It means I always have a pretty companion sitting with me, and a handful more onstage worth ogling. I’ve noticed, however, that many of the nicer-looking ones get barfined early, so if you’re looking to score with someone hot, don’t wait till late—arrive at 8. Yes sister, I’m a poet.

Tony, the manager, is a seasoned veteran from Pattaya, which means 1—he knows what he’s doing, and 2—he’s used to friendly banter with the customers. And if you’ve mongered in BKK for long, you know that ain’t how we roll up here in the big city. Bangkok bar bangers are aloof, skittish, suspicious, and suspect. We’re dark-souled, cold-hearted, and cold-blooded. We lounge like lone lizards in the dim corners of the gogo. We avoid eye contact with other males, lost as we are in our own deviant and devious thoughts. Poor Tony will have to content himself by chatting with the staff, which, as anyone who’s tried to have a real conversation with a gogo dancer knows, is akin to swatting at a fly with vertigo.

xXx Lounge employs male bar staff, which I personally dislike (I’d rather an all-female workforce), but they’re a good bunch of guys. Don’t expect prompt service, though. I often catch them casting side glances in the direction of the stage. How they manage to do any work with half-naked girls walking around is beyond me. At any rate, don’t be afraid to shout out your drink order. They won’t take offense.

  

The booze menu covers the usual gogo fare, plus some leftover high-end stuff from when it was The Steakhouse Co. I’m referring to the scotch, single malt, cognac, Patron, Belvedere, Gin Mare, 10 and 15 year old port and more, plus a few remaining cans of Belhaven Black Scottish Stout, Thatcher’s and Black Rat Cider, and East Coast IPA. The old Electric Blue was always known for having the cheapest drinks on the soi. xXx Lounge has picked up that torch with their current happy hour (20.00-22.30) special: 2 for 1 cocktails. And last week they put in a tap, adding a 115 baht big Chang draft to the menu.  And for those who don’t want to get drunk, or who want to avoid the carbs, xXx sells Heineken “0”. In fact, they’re the only gogo in Patpong that sells it. Lady drinks are 200 unless you really want to impress her with a cocktail, which will set you back 225.

Another leftover from the Steakhouse days is the cigar humidor which is stocked with various Cubans—Montecristo, Romeo Y Julieta, Cohiba, and Partagas—plus one Arturo Fuente. A gogo with cigars on the menu is a stand-alone feature in Patpong, and as far as I can recall, no other red-light in BKK has one. It’s my hope to convince the owners to provide liquor lockers for regulars so snobs like me can enjoy our favorite vintage along with our Cohiba. That’s right, friends, in a field rife with low standards, xXx is shaping up to be more than a gogo. It dares to inject some sophistication into the game. Because sometimes a classy gentlemen likes having tits in his face.

 

Technically, xXx Lounge has only had a soft open. Their official grand opening party will be on February 1st with another installment of the famous Nanapong dance contest between the girls of xXx Patpong vs. xXx Pattaya, and the girls of Dollhouse Soi Cowboy vs. Beavers Pattaya. If you’ve never been to one of these, you won’t want to miss it. Things can get…messy…so be sure to wear clothes you don’t mind getting coated in chocolate and/or whipped cream.

For anyone tuning in today expecting to read a blog about movies filmed in Bangkok, 1—thanks for reading my last week’s blog, and 2—apologies for postponing again. But I felt obliged to post this review, since some other Bangkok blogging dickhead published a negative one about xXx Lounge earlier this week. Granted, it was only 200 or so words written with the literary ability of a lobotomized toddler, and granted the retard wrote it without even bothering to go inside the bar. Nonetheless, I didn’t like seeing such inaccurate reporting about a place I really enjoy. So please accept this as a more accurate, better-written, more detailed if slightly biased review of xXx Lounge. Until next time, friends: keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to every owner brave enough to open a joint with barfinable hot girls inside. You’re doing a valuable service, and we salute you. Peace.