Black Pagoda Patpong: A Seven Review

Greetings punters, my name’s Seven and this is my blog. Today we’re going to take a long, loving look at one of the badass gogo bars in Patpong—Black Pagoda. It’s closed down now, due to Covid-19 (as all red-light bars are), but I’m not going to talk about the virus. I don’t know about you, but I need a break from the damn virus. So if you feel the same, take a moment to live vicariously through my past experiences at this awesome gogo…

Characterized by its unique location hovering above Soi 2 in between Foodland and The Patpong Museum, Black Pagoda is easily the most-photographed gogo in Bangkok. Lookie-loos routinely stop in the soi to snap pics of the girls as they bootie shake from stages above, or trip over the speed bumps because they’re too busy gawking to mind their surroundings.

The view from inside the bar is equally entertaining. Customers can sit at the window and watch the world go by, or swivel their chairs and get an eyeful of gogo dancers just inches away. The girls are very friendly and hands-on, and it’s clear they enjoy their work and are good friends with each other which makes for a generally warm atmosphere bar-wide. There are bar stools or low-slung sofas for a more intimate experience. Above the bar is a VIP room that back in the day served as a makeshift short-time room for banging (I kid you not). Those days are over, but you can still bring a handful of lasses upstairs to get away from the prying eyes of other customers. And of course, Black Pagoda is connected to Club Black, a large room down the hall from the toilets that serves as a dance floor for visiting DJs, private parties, and free billiards. But most days, the action takes place in the area on the bridge above the soi.

One of the things I really like about this bar is how they reward regulars. They have a VIP program called “Patpong Warriors.” If you become a member you get special discounts and perks, like 10% of your drinks after happy hour. You also get free entry into all Club Black events, exclusive invitations to special events, and a free “Warriors” t-shirt.

Another great thing about Black Pagoda is the list of specials they regularly offer. They have a weekly lucky draw (20 baht per ticket) with a rotating set of prizes, boozer-friendly happy hour prices (100 baht local beer, 90 bath shots, 120 baht well drinks) before 9:00 pm, and bulk pricing for lady drinks (6 for 990 baht).

It’s also worth mentioning that the owners of BP are the same group that runs The Strip and The Patpong Museum. So being a Patpong Warrior has perks that transfer to these other joints as well. And the friendly manager greeting you in Pagoda will likely rub elbows with you in the other locations. It provides a feeling of familiarity and camaraderie around the soi. This collection of owners is also trying their best to breathe new busy-ness into Patpong by organizing soi-wide events. They had their first one—Mardi Gras—last month, garnering participation from other establishments as well like The Paddy Field and Shenanigan’s. We can only hope that, once Covid-19 runs its course, the Patpong Warriors will come out with more promotional events in the future.

But my favorite aspect of Pagoda is of course, their roster of girls. It’s a nice mix of Patpong veterans and new faces. Best and Saa, former dancers at Electric Blue, are a sweet bit of eye candy. They’re both leggy, glamourous, and rife with sexual energy. And their besties, so it’s easy to get them both over for some double-team titillation. My favorite girl by far, though, is Taitle. It takes a special kind of gal to get me to break my strict age maximum. Typically, I won’t bother with anyone over 24. Taitle is 27 and still gives me a semi. She’s a strict lesbian, and thus won’t barfine, but she’ll warm your lap and shower you with affection so seductive and irresistible that you’ll forgive her for not going home with you. And this kind of pleasant company is common among all the Pagoda girls. They’re welcoming, charming, alluring, friendly, fun, and sexy. All the things you hope for in a gogo girl.

It’s the perfect bar for the shy monger, or the first-timer. All you have to do is show up—the girls will take care of the rest. But get there early, for two reasons. First, the place is small, so the seats fill up fast. Second, the best girls get taken fast. Now, if the girl you want is in some other dude’s lap, there’s a chance that if you wait long enough, he’ll bail without her and you can get a turn. But if you want to get the most out of your Pagoda experience, arrive before 9:00 and stake out a good spot—and a good girl.

Lastly, BP has great music. Their early-hours DJ, ****, is terrific, as is his mentor DJ Kofty, who regularly spins after 10 pm on weekends. Their sets are always a bit trancier than other bars, and Kofty’s always good about weaving in classics from the 70s and 80s for us old farts to freak out on. The music in a joint can be the difference between loving and hating it. Anyone who’s had to sit through two or more Thai pop songs will testify. Pagoda hits the right note every time.

So while you’re locked down in the middle of the Coronavirus scare, think about marking your calendar for a Black Pagoda visit on the 19th April when we’re finally free to frolic again. And cheers to living in the most exciting, stimulating, titillating city on Earth—even in the middle of a pandemic. Keep your chin up, Bangkok. This too shall pass.