When the Lockdown Ends: Day 1

Happy No Fun-Day Sunday, reader. No end in sight for our lockdown. The country teeters on the edge of collapse. No telling when or if the gogo bars and nightlife entertainment zones will reopen. And so, we wait. And wait, and wait. While I’ve been waiting, I’ve begun to plan out my agenda once the restaurant and red-light bans are lifted. In the following post, allow me to share what my first free day/night will look like on the day we get our fun back.

First, I’ll head to Shenanigan’s for breakfast. This Irish pub in Patpong was like a 2nd home for me for so long, and their breakfast always reminds me of when I visited Killarney. The staff are great, as is the food, and the atmosphere just makes a monger feel comfy and welcome. You get to choose seven items from their list of breakfast items. I always make the same low-carb choices: bacon, sausage, eggs, tomato, mushrooms, black and/or white pudding, hashbrowns, and black coffee.

Then for lunch, I’ll go straight back to Shenanigan’s. That’s right, I’ve missed the joint enough to eat there twice in one day. If the lockdown ends on a weekend, I’ll be getting the roast. If it happens to end during the week, I’m getting the lamb shank. These are my two top faves on their menu. In the past, I’d run by Foodland for a bottle of wine and pay the corkage fee at Shagz, but that’s no longer necessary. Right before the shutdown, the owner’s wife chose a new wine list that is just fantastic. After lunch, I’ll make a bee-line for The Paddy Field for dessert: a pint or three of Guinness and/or 99 baht Tiger.

The best happy hour in my neighborhood is at Scarlett rooftop bar at the Pullman Hotel, Silom. With a view of the sunset and the Chao Phraya River, buy-one-get-one tapas dishes, and superb wine pairing options, it’s a truly special experience disguised as an everyday afternoon boozing session. If you’re lucky enough to have a date or a ball and chain, it makes for a romantic but inexpensive date. If you’re alone, it’s a prime opportunity to get a healthy dose of sunlight, and a view of the city that can’t be beat. Also, they don’t mind if you smoke a cigar.

Once the sun goes down (and after a power nap), I’ll be on Patpong, making the rounds to my fave gogo bars to hang out with my fave pole kitties. First up will be King’s Castle 1. I like getting there early because they’re typically jam-packed by 9:30. I’ll have a drink with Ice, Wan, and Poo–all great fun and all super-sexy.


Hopefully by that time I’ll be hungry again, and there’s no better place to go than Le Bouchon. Serg, the owner, has been serving up authentic French cuisine in the heart of Patpong for decades, and the food is quite simply exquisite. I love everything on their menu, but my go-to dishes are the foie gras, goat cheese ravioli, and osso bucco. Magnifique.

After dinner I’ll swing over to Kiss Bar to say hi to Mint. Hopefully they’ll still have my old music playlist on their computer, plus a few leftover bottles of Witte Belgian beer. Kiss is a low-key, no-frills joint that somehow manages to house a handful of hotties that defy logic in their hotness. Mint–who my buddy Lucky and I always referred to as “Babyface,” is finally filling out now that she’s in her 20’s, but she still has the optimism of a kid with her whole life ahead of her. And now that Glamour’s been sold, her old friends Miw, Ann and Sai will probably come back to Kiss as well. That’ll make for a fun party.

After that, I know I’ll end up spending an inordinate amount of time in The XXX Lounge, where Best, Beer, Earn, Pbai, and Nan will make for great company. These party animals are always fun, always fetching, and eternally frisky.

Then it’s just a hop, skip, and jump over to Bada Bing, where I assume Ging will be working. Pre-pandemic, she was a staple at Glamour, but now that it’s closed pending a new owner, I imagine she’ll be at Bing. She’s been a pal for years, especially because she lets me bounce her fake boobs around like a couple of toys. And what’s a little boob jiggling between friends?

Inevitably though, the night will end in The Strip–the funnest, friendliest, and most fantastic gogo in the whole of Bangkok. I can’t say enough good things about the girls in this sweet little hotspot. I’ve spent four of the last five New Year’s at The Strip, and Buddha willing I’ll be back there for 2022. Hopefully we won’t have to wait that long to get back to normal. In the meantime, make the best of your lockdown. Take up a new hobby. Learn a language. Or be like me and just stare at these photos while weeping softly into your beer.

Speaking of photos, if you need another eyeful today you can head over to bkknites.com for the blog I wrote last week on some of my Thai gal-pals who’ve started Only Fans profiles. And until next week, keep your fridge stocked, your junk groomed, and here’s to a future date when the above photo album will be merely a sample of a typical weeknight in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.

Cheers, all.