What I Miss Most: Chicks T*ts and T*tty Tips

Happy Sunday, reader. My name’s Seven, and this is my blog.

How’s your lockdown going? Are you staying sane? There’s a lot to miss, isn’t there? For instance, fresh, hot food that didn’t need to be trucked across town on the back of a motorbike…fresh, cold beer newly pulled from a keg into a pint glass…For a monger like me, the hardest part of  this ridiculous fun ban is the lack of access to gogo bars. Yes, the other stuff sucks. But when I look back through my photo albums, the ones that bring a lump to my throat–and my groin–are the long series of instances where I’ve stuffed a well-earned tip into the clothing of a scantily-clad pole kitty. Below are but a few examples of my red-light tipping history. As you’ll see, I’ve turned it into something of an art…

When tipping a gogo dancer, it’s important for the tipper to come away as pleased with the transation as the girl. The simplest and arguably most simulating form is the titty tip. Provided you’ve created enough of a rapport with your companion on your visit, you’ll likely be in a position to slip your tip around a tit without must imposition. My signature move is to use my first and index fingers to give a gentle nipple pinch at the moment of tip slippage. Call it a nip-snip tip. From left to right, the girls in the photos above are: Beer, at XXX Lounge, Yeen from Pink Panther, Wan from King’s Castle 1, and Rutty from King’s Castle 2. As you can see, while they’re all too happy to take a tip in the tits, many aren’t keen about showing their faces.

Not so with Ice, from King’s 1. As you can see, she’s out and proud, with a Cheshire cat grin to go with her titty tip. Next is Sugus, from Pink Panther. She’s shy. The gorgeous rack in the green top is Pop, from Bada Bing. At the time of this photo, she had a farang benefactor who believed she’d left the pole, and so had to keep her identity a secret. I tried to explain to her that only around 10 people read my blog and her ‘boyfriend’ would likely never see it, but she balked. The four titties on the right belong to Oil and Belle from Black Pagoda. The awesome fake rack to the right belongs to my friend Am from The Red Spot (or is it Red Dot? I can’t remember) on Soi 6, Pattaya.

In the series below, the tits belong to  Kaowok from King’s Castle 2, then Bo and Oat–both from (at least at the time) Pink Panther, and then Ann and Sai from Kiss Bar, who each of whom never let me leave that joint without tipping them in the tits.

With girls who’re less-comfortable getting felt up in the gogo, it helps to include something sweet. My go-to candy bribe is a chupa-chup. They’re 5 baht at 7-11 and easy to carry around in one’s pockets. As the night drags on, though and I get more drunk, my strategic placement of tips–and lollipops–gets more brazen. After a few hours, I tend to tire of titties and am tempted to try for more titillating territory.

The hip tip is the classic Western strip club move. Although it’s close to their naughty bits, the girls seem quite happy to take a rolled up bill in the waistband. If it’s late in the evening, I typically take advantage of the moment, and dip a finger low enough to learn who shaves and who doesn’t. It may seem like a small thing, but when combined with a girl’s other characteristics, believe it or not this tidbit of sinful information (sinformation for short, copyright Bkk7) can be a good indicator of how wild she’d be in the sack. From left to right above are Miw at Kiss Bar, Nuiy from Glamour, a girl at XXX Lounge who’s name I don’t remember, and Film at XXX Lounge, in a white bikini that left little to the imagination (her cooter was as smooth and bald as a billiard ball).

As I said, the longer the night drags on, and the drunker I get, the more obscene the tip gesture. This photo captured a particularly intoxicated incident (partixicincident for short, copyright BKK7) in Thigh Bar when, in the process of placing some cash against a girl’s pelvis, on realizing she was wearing knickers under her bikini bottoms, I incredulously relieved her of said bottoms. It was justified–right? I mean, there’s no call for doubling up on choochie coverings. That’s out of order. At any rate, the girl didn’t seem to mind, and since it’s something I do often in Thigh Bar (relieve girls of their uniforms), it was good time had by all. And I think you’ll agree, the bikini wasn’t just unnecessary, it wasn’t sexy. I’d much rather see a gogo dancer onstage in her underwear. It’s more erotic, and aesthetically more pleasing. Would I have stripped this sweet kitty’s clothes off if I were sober? No. Which is why I thank Buddha every day for the combination of booze, gogo bars, and easily-removable bikinis, and why I miss it more than any other banned fun thing in the current fun ban. And I’m still hopeful, dear reader, that these happy days will return. it’ll take a miracle–in the form of a person in the government who’ll pull their head out of their ass and realize that 1–lockdowns don’t work, 2–the country is on the brink of economic collapse, and 3–there’s no logical reason to react so tyrannically to a flu that has killed a mere 1% of those who become infected. Is there someone in power who is smart enough to put two and two together? Only time will tell.

We don’t just owe it to ourselves to get back to the red-lights. We owe it to these lovely ladies. We owe it to Fern, from King’s Castle 2 (above left). We owe it to Best at Black Pagoda, and Kanika at Kiss Bar. We owe it to Bee at XXX Lounge. These girls need to get back to work as badly as we mongers need to get back to mongering.

This photo album is more than a record of a perverted old man slipping tips into the clothing of sexy gogo dancers. It’s proof that the economy works. It’s hard evidence of the symbiotic relationship between beauty and baht–between sexiness and spending–between liquidity and love–between girl and geezer. We need them, and they need us. And Thailand needs both. So if you’ve got a beer in the fridge, go get it. Crack it open, hold it up, and toast these lascivious lovelies and their lustiness. And hell, raise a glass to yourself–you dedicated few, you Bangkok warriors, waiting in the wings for this wild, wondrous world to reopen. Here’s to the day we can get back to the business of burying baht in the busts and butts of beautiful babes in bars. Cheers.

PS–If you need more photos of better times, later today bkknites.com will post a photo album of chickies from Lollipop in Nana Plaza. Swing by and check it out.