The First Day of the Rest of…….

Well gents, tomorrow we turn the page. It’s not the last page…but it’s close. Soon, we’ll shut the book on this awful chapter in our lives, one of the worst in modern history. And we made it. We lost some people along the way, maybe lost income, lost some fave locales, lost opportunities. Worst of all, we lost over a year of red-light mongering. Although I hate tourists, I’ll personally wait outside Suvarnabhumi and plant a kiss on every one of them if their presence means I can get a pint in a bar and (eventually) sit stageside in a Patpong gogo once again.

For the last two weeks, the number of new daily Covid cases has hovered around 9,000. Total deaths per day from October 10 to now have steadily dropped to below 60. These are the exact numbers the Thai govt said it needed to see before it would feel safe enough to reopen the country. And so tomorrow, November 1st, is a day that will live in infanny (combination of infamy and fanny, copyright BKK7)—the start of a snowball of debauchery that can only build as it rolls down the steep slope of pent-up craziness that’s been building in the loins of every whoremonger since April. It will mean that the tiny Thai govt man who’s had his finger in the fun dyke for the past seven months will finally pluck it out, causing the dam to break, and the party to resume in the capital again. You can’t hold back the steady march of time, nor Bangkok punters’ insatiable yearning for vice. Tomorrow brings a new dawn, a new day, a new life…for whoremasters and pint pounders the world over. Actually, who gives a fuck about the rest of the word? They can have their Great Reset/New World Order fascism. It’s we few, we dedicated, we thirsty Bangkok barflies who matter. Let in the throngs of vaccinated masses (vaccinasses for short, copyright BKK7) if you must. As long as I can get back to my life’s pursuit—feeling up pole kitties in a dark, neon-lit room. Sure, that particular titillation (partitillation for short) is still (maybe) a month off (or less, depending on who you talk to). But beer will flow once again in Shenanigan’s and Paddy Field from tomorrow, and that alone is worth celebrating.

Unfortunately, it won’t be soon enough to’ve had a fun Halloween. Sure, I could schlep down to Sukhumvit tonight and probably find a festive ecosystem somewhere between Sois 7 and 22. But it’s the principle of the thing. I want my Patpong-back, Patpong-back, Patpong-back, and won’t be satisfied until I do. And so, I’ll sit and sulk, and peruse with nostalgia the following photo album of past years’ Patpongoween parties. I hope you’ll enjoy them as well.

Spooky decorations in the Pong traditionally range from the sublime to the eclectic. Glamour (above left) always got quite festive, with a giant spider and web, scary wall banners, and both dancers and staff sporting costumes. At the (now defunct) Kiss Bar, the place was adorned with giant plastic centipedes, rubber severed heads, and black and orange balloons

Over at XXX Lounge, the girls donned a common Hallowuniform–something akin to sexy vampires. Thankfully, they were careful not to cover up too much skin.

Last year, BarBar built a multi-storey haunted house that attracted hi-so Thai alternative hipster types like the trio of girls above left, who braved the sois of Patpong to get a dose of bdsm-heavy macabre. The three witches above right played bartenders in Candle Light Studio on the floor above BarBar.

In Black Pagoda last year, Best put on her best Dracula cape and dark makeup. At center is Ging on Glamour’s stage in her now-famous bat-kini. Now that Glamour’s owner has thrown in the towel, it’s unclear where Ging will end up once the fun ban is over. More than likely she’ll head back to Bada Bing (at their new location on Soi 1), or if the Patpong Warriors pick up Glamour, maybe she’ll stay. And back at Black Pagoda again above right is Best again, in her Harley Quinn costume with a matching friend.

From left to right, the girls above are from Glamour, King’s Castle 1, and Kiss Bar. The surprising thing about how fully Thais have embraced Halloween is not that they have, but that it took so long. This holiday is tailor-made for Thai chicks.


These three photos are all from Glamour in 2018. The staff there always relished getting into the “spirit” of things. But the top prize for costumes from the past three years had to be the two hostesses over at The Strip, who in 2019 made these life-sized pussy outfits. Although if I’d been the tailor, I would’ve cut these into minidresses and forbidden the girls to wear panties.

And just FYI, yesterday it was announced via National News Thailand that Bangkok will be open in its “entirety,” which I personally take to mean bars and red-light districts. Will this dream come to fruition? We can only wait and watch. I do know that the corner bar outside King’s Castle 2 on Patpong Soi 1 will be open from tomorrow. I really hope the gogos reopen. I’m tired of playing sole benefactor to my harem. Who knows? Maybe this’ll be the last week I have to bang 11 girls in two days’ time so they can all make rent by the 4th. Honestly, my old gonads can’t take much more of this.

Anyway, let’s raise a glass today, friends. Cheers to the end of the fun-ban. Cheers to cold pints pulled from taps. And cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth–Thailand.