‘Twas a strange week in ole Patpong. A power struggle between Bangkok’s new governor and various faceless bureaucrats, a “vacationing” police chief, and the imminent reopening of the country all seemed to play a part in onpong goings on and for better or worse, this gogo hound was there to witness it. Hey everyone, my name’s Seven and this is my blog.
The new governor of Bangkok had stated that he’d like to see bars stay open till 2 am, and with Friday’s rollback of Thai Pass and the mask mandate, things are moving inexorably in that direction. But that didn’t stop his enemies from putting their foot down while they still can by trundling the police out to the gogos to shut ‘em down promptly at midnight all week, to the chagrin of dancers and customers alike. And to add insult to idiocy, Patpong’s chief of police took a “vacation” this week (read into that what you will—I assumed it was Covid-related but have no proof one way or the other) and the interim douche who stepped in promptly stepped up bar harassment. There were systematic raids midweek that closed Radio City, BarBar, and The Strip for two days while they sorted out their paperwork. Club Black—the VIP bar behind Black Pagoda—was also raided on Wednesday, ostensibly to make sure the girls were keeping their knickers on. The Bummer Police strike again.
On Thursday the cops were up Bada Bing’s ass, grousing about SHA signs not posted high enough on the wall and—of all things—fire extinguisher expiry dates. What’s a shorter word for “gutless cunt”? Guntless? I’ll have to work on that one. This substitute chief is busting so many balls he’s gonna get his own tangled up in the mess. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot, or biting the hand that feeds—one of those old sayings has to fit. And all the hullabaloo is for nothing, since things more or less go back to normal starting July 1st. But that’s authoritarian retardation (authoritardation for short, copyright BKK7) for you. It never fails to fail.
But enough of that shite. On to better news: a second ping pong show opened on Soi 1, wedged between the naughty massage parlor and “Happiness Bar,” the name given by the new owner to the joint located where Goldfinger used to be, and Mississippi Queen before that. Like puzzle pieces falling into place, Soi 1 is reassembling itself in slow motion.
Despite the haranguing over fire extinguishers, Bada Bing is doing rip-roaring business. I guess when your sister bar gets shut and you cram all the girls from that place in with the regular Bing dancers, you draw a larger crowd. Combine that with their long-standing reputation and fewer open bars thanks to cop intervention and you’ve got a formula for massive crowds of horny voyeurs (hornyeurs for short, copyright you-know-who).
Speaking of crowds, the tourist numbers jumped again this week. Patpong resembled a Disneyworld Main Street circa 1990. The masses are massing in the red-light once again. I can only imagine what it’ll look like a month from now when Thailand’s back to normal and a planet with 2 years of blue balls can finally get their rocks off. It’s going to be mayhem.
In the space of two weeks the number of dancers at Pink Panther has doubled. It looks like its old self. And true to form, the 11:30 pm Muay Thai exhibition is back on as well. Last year, in the middle of the scamdemic, I wondered to myself whether the hotties would return once the nightmare was over, or would they have found different ways to generate revenue. Last week, I got my answer. The gogos of Patpong are, indeed, repopulated with new young scorchers, as if a sex factory resumed production after Covid. In fact, I was talking with a few fellow gogo rats and we all agreed that the girls in Patpong are markedly hotter than anyone gracing a pole on Soi Cowboy these days.
The weekend theme parties are doing wonders for business in Black Pagoda, XXX Lounge, and (when the cops aren’t shutting it) The Strip. Speaking of, The Strip was the only one to put on a party this weekend with a “jungle” theme (photos available in this week’s YouTube slideshow—link at the bottom). Jack Nites was on hand at the weekend for a photo shoot in Club Black and The Strip. It’s always a joy to watch him work.
In food-related news, you can still order food off G’s German menu delivered to your stageside seat at XXX Lounge. I grabbed a snack on Friday night—moo taut (100b) and chicken satay 9170b) , both delicious as usual. And with Bpai, Sai, and Pu shaking their asses onstage, it was a perfect balance of chicks and chow. Speaking of G’s, they’ve got a new brew on tap—King Mule IPA. It’s not a traditional IPA, what with color and clarity closer to a lager—and the hops aren’t overwhelming. It’s got a clean, subtle taste that makes for easy-drinking and a great refresher in this hot weather.
Earlier in the week I rounded out the curry menu at Derby King with gang pet gai aka red curry chicken (150b). I’ve eaten there around a dozen times now and I’ve never been disappointed. The food is cheap, delicious, and authentic Thai. Also this week, I swung in to Roadhouse on Surawong Road for their lunch special—345b for two courses. I got the Caesar’s salad and the cheeseburger with a complimentary glass of iced tea. The salad came with fresh bacon bits, and the croutons were Texas Toast. Lots of sardine in the dressing. The burger consisted of Wagyu beef, lettuce, tomato, and choice of American or cheddar cheese. That’s all. No fuss, no muss, and it was delicious. I threw a dab of bbq sauce on for good measure. It was, quite simply, burger perfection. The tea was lovely—sweet and tart and refreshing. It reminded me of childhood holiday trips to Lake Havasu. I downed it in 10 seconds.
That’s all the Pongmonger that’s fit to ponder this week, friends. To view the photo slideshow that goes with this post, click here: https://youtu.be/Xtr0howeTms
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Until next time, keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.