The Suburbs of Babylon Chapter 8

It’s Friday, reader. My last one in quarantine, and my last one spent outside the red-light since the first week in March. Below is the next chapter of my semi-fictional semi-autobiography, written and self-published around a decade ago. But the observations contained therein are still relevant—especially the ones about LA strip clubs, and especially given…

Some Current Patpong All-Stars

Hello reader. As we (and when I say we I mean you, since I’m currently trapped in a quarantine hotel on Sukhumvit) prepare to go back to the gogo bars, I wanted to offer a preview of some of the Pong’s most pulchritudinous pieces of poontang that will adorn the gogos. These are some of…

The Suburbs of Babylon Chapter 7 Part 2

It’s Friday in Thailand. Seven’s first Friday in Thailand since the beginning of March. Sure, I’m spending it in a quarantine hotel room that feels smaller by the day, but at least I’m here. I’m home. Home sweet home. And to celebrate, I offer another installment of my tedious tome “The Suburbs of Babylon.” Specifically,…

Covid Conquered: A Thai Expat De-patriated

Greetings from a quarantine hotel in Bangkok, everyone. Yes, I am back. The bitch is back. Back in the old BKK. It feels good. It feels right. The room is small, and the windows don’t open, and the air-con makes the room either freezing cold or balmy as balls. But the coffee is free and…

The Suburbs of Babylon Chapter 7 Part 1

Happy Friday, all. By the time you read this, I’ll be packing a suitcase in anticipation of boarding a repatriation flight back to Bangkok. Provided they don’t deny me for being farang, and provided it doesn’t crash, I should be back in TLOS and checked in to a quarantine hotel by 11 pm Saturday night….

The Upside of Exile

If you know any Thai expats trapped abroad, you might have an idea about the nightmare known as Corona exile. I’m one of those poor unfortunate souls kept out of Eden, with an invalid ticket to Paradise, stuck in the muck and mire of the hellscape of Los Angeles, California, USA—a rapidly declining socialist shithole…

The Suburbs of Babylon Chapter 6

What’s up, everyone. I’m Bangkok Seven and this is my blog. On Fridays, I like to frowback to those days of yesteryear. When Thailand wasn’t even a thought in my head, and life was a giant, steaming pile of shit. We’re smack in the middle of summer, friends. That might mean something where you are,…

A Tale of Two Thailand Snorkeling Trips

Whilst I am trapped in the US waiting for the inane, brainless Thai government to pull its thumb out of its ass and allow foreign residents to return, I’ve been reminiscing over some of my more memorable experiences in Thailand. In this week’s weekly, I’m covering two separate Thailand snorkeling excursions—one fantastic, one terrible. Let’s…

The Suburbs of Babylon Chapter 5 Part 2

These Fridays, they keep coming. Thailand remains shut, despite lying news articles claiming expats can get back (the waiting list for a flight is 2 months). I remain trapped in the hellscape of California, where 99% of the population are fucking retards and the only bright spot is easy access to wine. For those of…