Bangkok Seven’s Red Light Week (Feb 20-26)

What’s up reader, how they hangin’ these days? I’m Seven, and this is my blog. And I’m still recovering from Covid, which means I’m suffering from lingering fatigue and an overall lack of initiative to get off the couch. That’s why I failed for the most part to keep last week’s promise to get out and hoof it through Nana, Cowboy, and Soi 7. Instead, I my hooves took me to Patpong—6 nights out of 7. Sorry about that. Anyway, here’s how the week shook out:

Sunday: I left my apartment with every intention of hitting Nana, but wound up in XXX Lounge in Patpong instead. I bought dinner for the girls (somtam) and ordered from G’s German on Soi 4—sausages and sauerkraut, the perfect keto meal., and surprisingly cheap at 195 baht. My usual galpals Nan, Beer, and Poo hung on my shoulder or sat in my lap and we chilled and chatted for a couple hours. And it turns out it was Pupae’s birthday. Pupae works at The Strip–my former favorite gogo that I now won’t set foot in because their new cashier is a thief. So Pupae came to me for her BDay tip. ‘Twas a low-key Sunday, though they usually are in the Pong.

Monday: I left my place with every intention of surveying Soi 7, Cowboy, and Nana, but wound up in XXX Lounge instead. Got somtam for the girls and ordered chicken satay and bacon wrapped prawns from G’s. I hung with the girls for a bit, smoked a cigar and then popped over to hang with Golf at Pink Panther, Kae and Sa at King’s, and Mint at Black Pagoda. They’re always up for a party, or in my case, a casual chat.

Tuesday: I left my place with every intention of checking out Soi 7, Nana, or Cowboy but instead my feet took me to XXX Lounge where I ordered G’s chicken strips and meatballs with fries. Nan and Beer picked at my plate while I fondled their various naughty bits. I snapped a pic of one of the new girls and then decided to stroll around the soi and do the same in other joints. There’s a team of girls in the back room of Black Pagoda (aka Club Black) who writhe on poles, lounge on sofas, and play pool with whoever’s willing. In Bada Bing there are a couple of “new” ladies who’re new to the Bing but not Patpong. Both worked for years in Black Pagoda, though at that time they sported dyed-blonde hair, which is why I didn’t recognize them at first in the Bing–that is, until they shouted “Se-VENNN!”

Wednesday: I left my apartment with every intention of going to Sukhumvit but instead just walked straight to XXX Lounge and hung out on the terrace with the usual gang of galpals. I ordered moo dat deyow and prawn cakes from G’s and smoked a cigar amid the constant sweet-smelling fumes of the girls’ vape clouds. I also bought chicken and sticky rice for a few girls, and ice cream for Benz. And as I was suffering from low energy—a lingering effect of Covid—I didn’t venture to any other bars that night. ‘Twas an early one for me.

Thursday: All attempts to get my ass to Cowboy, Nana, and Soi 7 failed. I again blame the post-Covid doldrums that made me perpetually tired all week. Instead, I just went to Patpong, but for a change in the monotony I grabbed a chicken Caesar salad at Shenanigan’s before rooting myself to a stool in XXX Lounge. Guinness is finally back in BKK, though only temporarily as the supply chain issues have still not been rectified. After chilling with the girls for a couple hours and a quick beer in King’s 2, I called it a night.

 

Friday: I finally had the energy to hit Soi 7 and Nana, but first made a point to check out some of the food on Red Lion’s new menu. There’s a lot to choose from. After careful consideration, I opted for the lamb doner kebab pizza (and was surprised to find out Friday is ‘buy one pizza, get another one free’ night). This pie was outstanding. When I lived in Essex, UK, in the dead of winter if there was no food in the house, staying in and staying hungry versus venturing out in the cold was a tough choice. There were only two eateries that were winter walking distance from my flat—Domino’s pizza, and a doner joint. Somehow, Red Lion has managed to perfectly merge the flavor experience of both of those foods. I simply loved it, and can’t wait to get back there and try every new dish on the menu.

 

I took the extra pie with me to Soi 7 and gave it to a gaggle of girls at one of the bars. Soi 7 was jumping and loud, and crowded. But I bailed as soon as I finished my beer because I couldn’t tolerate the constant desperate molestation by the girls there. I don’t like being hugged or kissed by strangers, and I don’t want a chubby girl in her 30s to park herself on my lap before even asking my name. Yes, I understand that tourists might love such treatment, but for a Bangkok monger, it ain’t ideal. By the way, I also peeked down Soi 7/1 and the bars there were also rammed and bumping.

So, I shot over to Nana, excited to see what new places were open. I made a beeline for Billboard. The joint was fairly crowded, the mood jovial. There were girls on the carousel but instead of dancing, they were perched on stools—all in lingerie and all smoking hot, of course. I had visions of those sushi restaurants where the food scoots past on a conveyor belt and you just pick what you want. 160 baht SMLs. Then I swung into Rainbow 5 on the 2nd floor. 120b SMLs and girls and stools onstage like Billboard, except these girls didn’t sit on the stools. Instead, they danced. I about choked on my first sip of beer. In fact, there were girls dancing at a couple other places as well. Granted, they donned cocktail dresses instead of bikinis, but damn. It’s a step in the right direction. The other open bars in Nana were: Spanky’s, Twister, Erotica, Random 1, Whiskey n Gogo, Lollipop, Sexy Night, and Taxi Bar. The RLD is still more than 50% shut, but the overall vibe there is optimistic. I can’t foresee the situation reverting back to pandemic protocols. The whole scene seems to be on track to get back to normal. It’s happening slowly, but surely.

I didn’t get to Cowboy, but what I saw of Nana and Soi 7 had me running back to Patpong. Soi 7 is a daunting gauntlet (dauntlet for short, copyright BKK7) of grabby, desperate chicks. Nana is a carnival of faces and bodies that I’m sure is a sexual sensory overload for a visiting tourist. A Nana gogo might have 20 or 30 girls, all hot, all being pawed at by dudes. If you’re looking to bang, your best bet is to grab the first one who looks decent and hold on for dear life. As someone who’s not there to get laid it’s just an impersonal financial exchange with strangers. I buy a drink for a pushy gal who thinks I’m going to barfine her. It ends in disappointment for everyone.

 

Patpong is a totally different experience. The bar might have six or a dozen girls, all of whom are approachable and relaxed. They’re more interested in having a good time than getting barfined (though they’re of course up for it if you want it). In Patpong, I can hang with my friends, chat, grab some titties and crotches, and maybe get a backrub. And it’s not just because I’m a local. The girls in Patpong treat everyone the same—as long as you’re not a prick or an idiot.

Saturday: On the last night of the week, I went straight to Patpong hoping to grab a meal at Shenanigan’s, forgetting that the Bangkok Beatles were there. The place was a madhouse. So I hiked over to XXX, dodging a Covid testing station for Pong employees (including the girls) and ordered the meat platter from G’s. I smoked a cigar with my galpals and then hit Pink Panther, Black Pagoda, and Bada Bing before actually going to G’s for their new beer on tap—Surfine Belgian Triple Saison. It takes a beer like that to renew your belief in a God. There’s no way something that awesome could’ve come about by accident.

The highlight of Saturday—besides the Surfine—was the return of my natural energy. It took three weeks, but Covid seems to’ve finally let go of its hold on me. I didn’t want to mention it, but another residual symptom of Covid that stuck with me after I stopped testing positive was a—ahem!—lack of enthusiasm in my twig n berries. As my harem girls paid visits throughout the week, I found myself “pushing rope” more often than not. Thankfully, that grim symptom also finally ended yesterday. I’m not going to lie—I was a bit panicked there for a couple days. But all seems back to normal now. If you get Covid and experience these effects, this is me saying fear not. It too shall pass.

Speaking of passing, that’s all I got for you this week. And as these days and weeks pass, remember: the quality of RedLight life is gradually improving every day. Girls are dancing again in some places, and Omicron isn’t dangerous. In the immortal words of Howard Jones, things can only get better.

Except for my website, which randomly fails to load on mobile devices. I can’t figure out why. Maybe I’ll switch formats.

In the meantime, keep the faith, and until next week keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and here’s to another week above ground in the adult playground that is Thailand. Cheers.